Room to Breathe

Clutter – sometimes it’s not always that you see. There are the unseen, invisible clutters that quietly drain you.
I do have a habit of replying to every conversation possible, which is directed to me, unlike the ones in the groups. It’s a constant thing that clouds my mind- and yes- it is a form of overcommitment. More like an emotional mess- one that causes me constantly engage, and gives my mind no rest. It’s mostly in the case of messages i see, the rest- like events I say a big NO, without hesitation, because I feel that I get drained emotionally only at a public space, but I forget that, even the messages or the constant need to reply to all immediately is also draining me bit by bit- unknowingly.

Expectations!
Where do I begin?
We are all expected to do many things, be many things to everyone around us. I am just another victim of it. Being a mom, i am expected to be endlessly available, productive as well as grateful – working, handling home responsibilities and even being with the kids. It’s more like i am on call 24/7, expected to be giving. And yeah, when I decide to take a break- the guilt creeps in- BOOM !!! All the expectations are running through my mind- making a mess.

Relationships are yet another clutter that i need to always work on. Some relationships leave you worried, tense, second-guessing, smaller. Remembering that there is always a part of me stuck there and struggling is important.
Some of the above clutter, when removed, also relieves the mental load that we carry. Sometimes I even wonder if my weight scale is even adding up those extra weights I carry. (This explains my weight:P).

Silence, self-talk is the best way to reduce all this clutter, assuring my mind that it can still work, without all that burden.
Remember, there is no reason needed to choose ease.
Remove the clutter within before you work on the clutter around you.
Give yourself some time to breathe.

She earned it right

The quiet coffee hours,
the simple joy of watching or scrolling through Netflix,
the quiet hours ;
an escape from the daily routine;
You say “No”,
“No” to her, when she has earned it right;
She has her freedom, but needs a “yes” from you,
for everything she eats and does…
You are not to shame her for her choices;
as she earned them right.
Especially when it makes her function well.

She struggles like any other,
she contributes, shows up, and even holds things together;
Yet, she needs to explain why she breaks away;
Why does she need time off?
Why can’t?
When all you enjoy is the freedom of choice, she is denied.

Her joys are always dealt with a frown…
Why do you need this?
Why do you spend on this?
Why now? Can’t you do it later?
the time, which never comes in her life,
since it is all tangled in the loop of others’ timelines.

For once, she thought,
earning was the key to independence;
But she was mistaken;
Her wishlist was only sanctioned with permission slips.
the permission slips, which were always discarded by her;
because she chose ease over endurance.
because she chose silencing her dreams and wishes over others.

Her wishes were always written off,
with guilt, duties and the invisible expectations
that were laid upon her, knowingly and unknowingly.

She earned it right.
There was no shortcut, so no one got to vet her happiness.
Let her enjoy every bit of her happiness.
without being judged.

Only you can see your worth

Expecting someone to appreciate you for who you are or what you do is complete foolishness. Mostly because no one can be as kind-hearted as you are to see the good in yourself or others, they are all so engrossed in themselves that they do not even see what’ss happening around. It’s okay that no one notices you; it’s okay that nobody bothers to tell you that you are amazing. It’s ok, nobody ever noticed your new style…but it’s not ok, to feel worthless, just because the other person never noticed you or told you how good you are.
People not appreciating you, for what you look like, your behaviour, your achievements, never make you less beautiful, or rude or unsuccessful. Their statement of you or your achievements never defines you.  There is no good , in comparing yourself with others.

Stop comparing, and accept yourself. Believe that you have done something, and you do not need an acknowledgement to believe that.
Dearest, you do great…just accept it. Embrace your imperfections , you need them more than anyone else.

Silence is the key

Have you ever thought that all that happens in your life is just random acts?

The people we meet, the books we read, the places we visit or stay, the words we speak and much more. When we think about all those moments in life for once, we either accept the fact that nothing was just random, it was all meant to be. But again, there may be some negative incidents in life that we may wanna never want to accept as random. We skip those as they were never fond memories, and because the more we analyze it, the more we feel the ego in us chipping away, and it’s not easy for our hearts to accept it.

But again, once we set our minds and agree to listen to the thoughts carefully, we will realize that whatever happened in our lives was meant to be there. The happiness, the unforgettable, the unimaginable stuffthat happened in our lives, was meant to fill some gaps in our souls, to make us complete.
The unfinished talks, the unspoken words, the no-show moments, the broken promises, everything to this moment- was never random.
These thoughts that we never let go of remain hidden in our minds,  never leaving the horizon of our words and thoughts.
Remember, these incidents made us stronger, taught us to deal with the pain and grow better.  The people you met, the people yiu never met, the talks that never happened, the words that were never spoken, everything was meant to shape you. To fill the gaps in you, to make you whole.
The more you ask yourself, the more you will realize that it was all worth passing through.

Open 24/7: Life as a Convenience Store

No holidays, no closing, no stocks down – just available 24/7.
Yes, we have become more like a convenience store for many eventually. We kind of carry everything with us. We are supposedly available 24/7 for emotional support, problem-solving, last-minute favours, and much more. And there is no way that we go out of stock for all that. We restock ourselves now and then, silently, without even putting the shutter down, because we are constantly needed by someone.
Need help? I am right here. Need a quick response? Yes, i am here. Need comfort? Yes, I am here.
All we do is just become a reliable source that is easy to access.
Convenience always comes with a cost, not just for the person who is benefiting from it. When all things are available at the touch of a button, their value eventually. Sometimes, we say “yes” because it is easier to say it than to explain the “NO”. We keep ourselves open because we do not want to disappoint others, even for once.
When did it all begin? Somewhere along the way, rest became optional, burnout became the norm, and overfunctioning became a prized quality. We started to forget the difference between what actually means being helpful and being always on and being a support and self-neglect.
Availability over extended hours means exhaustion, and it slowly drains everything within us that makes us human.
It is important to know when to say “no”, without feeling guilty. Remember, we are allowed to take things slow or take breaks without any justification. Remember, as humans, we are designed to take pauses in between and care for ourselves. Restock and recharge when you feel you need one. Close all the tabs, stop juggling and put the shutter down.
All you need to remind yourselves constantly is that the ones who truly understand you will never judge you for your choices.

Accepting your true self

​Life has an interesting way of interpreting words and emotions. We see a person sitting on his own, enjoying solitude; another person might see it differently, as if the person is in pain and wants to avoid any proximity to people. Whereas someone else might consider it a rude behaviour, assuming the person is too prudish.
Life has perspectives as well. It doesn’t take your words seriously, but how deeply you feel about them. Even when you say “I’m fine”, but deep down, you are crushing the pain in your chest, holding the fears within you, life might respond to you differently. When you say ” I forgive them, i am just looking for peace,” but deep down you are still replaying the hurt that was caused, your life won’t take the words you say, but the silent whispers deep within you.  
Remember that life is not fooled by your words, that you speak so confidently; it is guided by the deeper emotions that are held within you. The way you feel, the way you act, the truths you hold, the values you live with – everything is not ignored; this is what makes your life, your character, and that’s what you radiate into the world around you.
Life does not handout your wants or wishes, unless you feel it deep. It mirrors the thoughts you carry within. If you constantly believe that you are unlucky, and you don’t even put in the effort you need to, in anything you wanna achieve, life will give you the same result, which your inner soul was emphasizing. It’s not like you’re going to get a big bonus gift for choosing to believe less about your strengths.
Give more gratitude, and you​ end up receiving blessings.
Never speak with inner doubts and tensions. Apply strategies that work with your life. Everyone has a different approach to life.
Life is not moved by how much you ask; it’s all about how grounded you are, when you gain, and how authentic you are.  The best way to experience miracles in life is to clear your mind, giving it the space to expand, grow, and adapt. Remove blockages, self-doubts and fears that pull you down. Revive your true feelings, let life feel you to the truest form.

The Magic of Nostalgia: Memories and Moments

Being nostalgic is like just being me :P

I can feel it in the smell of rain, the slow buzz of the wind in my ears, a song that is being played, or even in a cup of coffee or even a glimpse of someone i connect with. Certain smells, some vivid conversations, a touch of breeze – these all pull me back into a life that I know I missed.

Especially the smell of rain, it takes me back to many memories that were connected to those mornings, that never rushed, those evenings where I just soak in the moment, and forget the world around me. It reminds me of those cozy mornings, when my mom prepares the tea and the aroma just spreads everywhere, it’s like magic, and i am just cuddling on my bed, kicking away the thoughts of even waking up. But then, there she comes with that aromatic cup of tea, tempting me to get out of my comfort zone. But again, i can never replace those moments with her for something else.
Nostalgia is all about those simple moments in life that can never be replaced. Because it is what makes us who we are. It’s the familiarity that we build in our minds, but again, we lose it with time. These moments quietly pass – we tend to realize how much we need to pause and live in them.
There are many unfinished conversations, handwritten notes, childhood memories, and the comfort of being with someone we know so deeply. These all just come and go off, letting me not realize that i was even living and making memories.
It seems like there were many versions of me, and I eventually embraced them. There are some discomforting ones as well, but again it all shows me the distance i covered, from the older me to the newer me- they remind me that i survived those and are worth honouring.
Nostalgia comes without any warning; what it triggers in me, and what triggers it, is always the unknown.