Solitude …..I crave

I am selfish at times…
Being a mom, it doesn’t last long…
Probably being me, it doesn’t last long…
Every time I am alone, I crave a little more…
It’s not because I do not enjoy the company of others besides me…
It’s just that I love my company more than anyone.
I crave those extra minutes of solitude I get in the early morning…
those minutes, when it’s just me, my thoughts and the music,
where the world around me is in its rhythm,
leaving me behind,
those minutes, as i enter my home, when i go unannounced,
so that I can still linger in my solitude a little longer…
I enjoy those sultry moments of my life,
To an outsider, it may seem odd…
But, this makes me, who I am inside and out…
I love the silence of the night,
That leaves me in the ocean of my thoughts,
I swim in those, to an unknown horizon.
As i linger in my solitude,
I can see the silhouette of another version of me,
waiting for me to disown the solitude and embrace her…
The moment I embrace it, a prick of pain embraces me,
 as if I hated those cloaks, which were specially designed for me.
But something that I never embraced completely…
Still, i remain, cloaked,
until the next gush of solitude arrives…..
I remained covetous of it…
scribbling my thoughts away…
….
…..
OfSolitudeandStars
#ofsolitudeandstars #soulrecitals #soulwriting #truesoul
#solitude #selflove #woman #silence #soulrecitals #poemsofinstagram

You were seeded not caged

At some point in life…
We feel like we are being pushed underground…
Deep onto the ground…
That we see nothing but just darkness…
It becomes hard…
Every time you try to push your way out…
You are just going deep down…
Nothing seems right…
And at one point…
You tend to give up…
And start to adapt to that space,
Where you were pushed into…
Suddenly you see some changes in you..
You wonder why you are rooted in this space…
You worry, being a quitter…
You worry, being so drawn to it…
You worry, why you are unable to outgrow…
You worry about being stagnant…
You worry about being lost in the chaos of it…
You feel like your soul is breaking away…
But then,  it happens…
You sprout,
You grow in a direction you least expected…
And what you thought caged you,
It becomes the foundation to hold you strong…
You grow
You bloom.
…
..
OfSolitudeandstars
#ofsolitudeandstars #soulrecitals #thechaoticpoetess #sreepriyawrites #growth #bloom #positive

Tend your garden

Roots dried..
Leaves falling away…..
It does not fall yet..
It was time to bloom…
Yet i see you are fading away eventually…
Like the life within you is pulled away.
I watered you occasionally… didn’t I?..
My questions were answered with a smile…
A smile that weighed tons…
And i stood helpless..
Even when i knew,
All i needed to do was tend the garden well enough…
I spent more time nurturing other plants…
That i just ignored you…
As if you never existed…
I knew my occasional check-ins were never enough…
I broke away from you in ways…
That i could never imagine…
All i do now is watch you break in silence…
I kept watering you..
Not sure if i am doing it right…
Am i overdoing it?

I knew it all..yet i am questioning…
To wait for an answer that i knew deep down…
But i knew,
You would survive.
Because you are your inner strength…
You will rise again.
I trust thee.
..
….
OfSolitudeandstars
#ofsolitudeandstars #soulrecitals #tendyourgarden #yoursoulyourgarden #soulgarden

The wait

Waiting….
A feeling that seems endless…
Unable to move on.
It’s like I am stuck there…
Waiting for that journey to propel…
Something i started with someone,
Who was taken away by the wind…
I travelled so far, that now i am unable to return…
But again, I can’t move on,
Since the journey seems unending…
The gruelling journey into my mind…
It kept me going…
But i know that life moved on…
And i am stuck there…
Am i waiting…
Not sure…
As i am not certain, if there is a cause to wait…
Everyone that accompanied me,
Returned to where they belonged…
And there i am,
Middle of nowhere…
Home is far away…
I know…
And my steps seem fiddling…
As it hurts to be disowned…
Yet i waited..
On the very station, i was stranded…
Looking keenly at the platforms,
That gets filled…
And emptied in no time…
The clock ticks, and everything goes away.
And i stand unable to even hold anyone close to me…
The wait seems unrewarding
Yet i waited.
..
…
….
Ofsolitudeandstars
#ofsolitudeandstars #soulrecitals #randomthoughts #wait

Unsettling sorrows

I am right here…
Beside you,
Whispered my heart to his…
Listening to all your pain….
Far but near..
Unable to hold you closer…
But, here i am to console you….
Your voice echoes in my heart..
Like a raging wave to the shore…
Silenced by the shore…
As it never got the opportunity,
To thrash on the rock..
All it could gather was the tiny stones..
That just got washed away to halfway….
Nothing left unturned nor moved enough to change….

Your sorrows remained deep within you..
I can feel the tension within you…
I wish i could calm that down…
But again, you mesmerize me,
In the way you turned calm like the ocean on just another day….
Composed yet dense with,
Emotions bottlenecked within..
You amuse me, with the way you show your affection to the ones who never valued who you are….
You chose to be the ocean…
Whose depths got unmeasured,
Who valued only the shallowness of the world…
All i could do was stand ashore…
Awaiting you to be with me,
And drench me with the drops untouched by the world around you.
…
…..
Inner journey..
#soulrecitals #ofsolitudeandstars #pain  #hoardingpain #painfulmemories #dissolveinpain

The introverted mind

Here am i,
Standing there…
On the verge of  finding my true self,
It is just a step away…
But there i am,
Standing numb
Unable to move
Unable to express myself….
Words stuck in my throat…
Waiting to be called out.
Awaiting to express the deepest desires…
Yet, i remained silent….
I wished i could step out of this…
Enjoy what i longed for years…
But something held me back…
And what was it…
Ah! There you are,
The hidden me…
The one who i was…truly…
Someone who enjoyed the bliss of early morning…
The feel of the wind on her hair.
The one who played with the touch me not…
The one who giggled with the wind…
I wondered why,
Why should i ever be held up here…..
When i know, am not losing myself…
All i needed was an assurance..
Some journeys are meant to be on your own…
I held my mind…
Prayed harder…
And took a step away…
There i am liberated, united with a deeper sense of myself…

….
The introverted mind

#sreepriyawrites #ofsolitudeandstars #soulrecitals #happiness #introvert #intrivertme #findingmeagain❣️

Pause

As we sit and try to grab the time in our tiny fist…
Just to grab them and soak in it…
It slips by…
A sudden gush of anxiety rushes within us…
What if we lose something else…
We forget for a second that we have it ….the power of now…
We wanna hunt down the more…the impossible ones…
And all we do is let go of what we have now…
It seems tiring,
The whole world pushes us to do things,
Where we might not even belong…
And in that rush, we forget what we want or wish for…
Sometimes, all we wanna do is, hold on to that moment,
Soak in it…
Delish that tiny meal you prepped.
Or let the taste of the coffee be savoured by your tastebuds…
Everything from far looks like going at a supersonic speed…
But the fact is they are slow in their way…
Life is slower, but faster than we assume it to be…
When you reach the right spot, you will lock your mind in that tiny little abode of yours,
And let things go at their speed,
But you dont need to hurry then…
Because you are where you wished to be.
Not competing with anyone…
Just soak in your moment.
Life is not a race…
Everyone has a different finishing point…
The sooner we realize it, the better we feel about life.
..
…
OfSolitudeAndStars
#ofsolitudeandstars #sreepriyawrites #life #lifeisnotacompetition #lifeisbutiful